Umm I'm too high to move.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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