i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
