Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
