when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
