I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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