just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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