I bet he comes in French.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
