I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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