Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
