I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
