How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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