Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
