I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
