No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
