Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
