We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
