I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
