all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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