Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
