He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
