like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
