someone get that fucking seahorse.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
