It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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