my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
whose ass print is on the piano?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
