Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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