My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
