I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
