im drinking this country out of the recession.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
