I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
