ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
