You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
