When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
