Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
