It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Screwed.edu
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
