yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
