a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
