goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was like eating out sand paper
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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