We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
