That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
