Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
