That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
