Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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