btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
