I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
