Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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