I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
