didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
