i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i think my cat just said my name.
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