therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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