I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she looked like the before picture.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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